Recycle or go to Hell, warns Vatican

Failing to recycle plastic bags could find you spending eternity in Hell, the Vatican said after drawing up a list of seven deadly sins for our times.

Did Moses hide some of the commandments from us? I know he broke the tablets once and had to hike back up the mountain and get the tablets redone, but this is the first time I’ve heard we’re missing some commandments. Maybe, in one of those Gnostic gospels Jesus said “Love thy neighbor as thyself and don’t forget to recycle because that puts you in league with murderers and thieves and other riff raff”
But I'm thinking if the Vatican really had these commandments from God and they were true, wouldn’t Al Gore and those crusaders already have rammed these ‘spiritual sayings” down our throats?
Sigh............
I’m still working on the love thy neighbor part.
I guess I will have to consult our spiritual adviser William Blake on these startling new sins. These sins that add layer upon layer to the medias constant mushrooming global crisis. We will get to the bottom of who made these new sins mortal sins.